It feels like forever since I've blogged! Mostly because I have always tried to blog everyday and I haven't blogged since... actually I don't know, and can't remember.
I promise I haven't just been neglecting you. The past week has been manic, sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad way!
Monday meant back to work as usual, but after a busy weekend, and a late night on Friday, I still hadn't caught up on my sleep. I wonder if I've told you that I am one of those annoying people, who needs at least 8 hours (ha - I wrote years by accident at first - shows I need sleep!) sleep every single evening to be able to function properly.
I stumbled through Monday at work, and then had a lovely evening out, meeting up with one of my bridesmaids - the gorgeous Sian, in town after work for dinner, a few drinks and to meet her lovely new boyfriend. I had such a fantastic night. It was a lovely break from the routine of coming home and collapsing, and was nice to feel like I really live in London and can be spontaneous.
Unfortunately, the next day I was paying for the enhanced lack of sleep and combination of week night alcohol. Boy was Tuesday hard. But then, being spontaneous again, the fiance and I went to The Everyman cinema in Hampstead (what I would call a boutique cinema - which has lovely food and a great atmosphere) to see 'I don't know how she does it'.
Ironic really, I felt entirely like the character (despite not yet having kids, and not being a high flyer at work - just a general dogsbody) and at one point when the character was ridiculed for having 'bouncy house' written on her hand, I looked down to see my to do list hastily scribbled on mine.
(By the way - it's a good film, not great! I assume the book was probably better!)
So after another glass of wine (but a reasonably early night) wednesday was bearable at work. But then, I had missed two whole evenings of craft making ready for the craft fair next Saturday 1st October (arrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yes next Saturday, pooooo!)
So I came home from work and literally sewed until my fingers bled and my back ached - 8pm. Because at this time we were off out to meet the fiance's friends for a bon voyage dinner for one of his friends who is moving to Dubai.
Another late night last night, and this morning I was in tears (seriously, for me I am hugely sleep deprived!) I was dreading work, luckily, things are never quite as bad as I imagine, and I struggled through, getting most of my to do list done (I have noticed that more and more of my daily to do lists are being carried forward onto the next day - I can only imagine they will soon not fit on my clip board (Yes I have a clipboard (and yes I am using brackets inside brackets) ) and I will go into some sort of meltdown! See always imagine the worst).
Where was I? Oh yes, today wasn't too bad. But the reason I wanted to stop and cry and give up was that I realised that EVERYDAY.... I wake up...... start to think about what I have to do that day.... start doing them.... and don't physically or mentally stop until I go to sleep (this must be why I always fall asleep as soon as my head touches the pillow - if not before). Realising that I never stop, never relax, never take a break and ENJOY anything had me at the brink of a crying fest.
Tonight, I came home and continued with my crafting, but I took it a bit slower, mixed in some housework, but also stopped to read blogs (which I love, despite it feeling slightly like a chore sometimes because I hate to miss any), caught up on some missed TV and had a little bit of breathing space.
I still don't quite feel like I've stopped! But I have managed to write a blog...
Maybe tomorrow night I will get my break...
P.S. I apologise if this is rambling and awful, but it was rather cathartic and it felt like the first time I have been able to express myself and how I really think sometimes...
P.P.S. Normal service will resume shortly.